I admit this is jarring. I would even call it ugly. It’s how I feel.
I am drowning in sadness today. Today it is just too much. There is too much pain… and it is ugly and dark and angry and even scary.
I am at the bottom,
Pain chokes my soul.
Tears I want to shed won’t come.
The Tears won’t fall,
Screams stick in my throat.
The pain won’t come out.
Today is a hard day. I know it will pass, but today is still here.
My Affirmations lead to
My Gratitude, which leads to
Me: Rising from the Ashes of FEAR.
Spring Walk pictures inspired watercolor Journal Entry.
My Five Minute Journal keeps me focused on Gratitude… something I desperately need these days ❤️.
I want to be clear: I am not making a political statement.
I am working on a #100daychallenge2020 using Art Journaling as a self-care measure and expression. This project is a way of keeping consistency during this time of Social Distancing, stress/anxiety relief, letting my experience of Art Lab Classes continue through trying new things, and letting the Art take me where it wants to.
So, on Thursday, I took a piece of an old book (bought at a library book sale) and I made it into something new by seeing what words “spoke” to me. The funny thing about this day’s project is this: the page is taken from a gardening book about different types of flora and fauna from an English garden. Yet from this gardening page came a sense of patriotic pride I didn’t even know I was feeling.
The words that popped out too me were: exquisite, kingdom, It’s name is America, the great. From these words the art took me to a place of honoring the ideas and beliefs our country was founded on: land of the Brave, home of Freedom, land of opportunity (which can lead to success).
Though this is not a Right vs. Left point if view piece, found myself feeling afraid of how others would view and judge it. I was afraid that others would SEE it as a statement of one view or the other. This made me realize that I needed to put it out there. I needed to share my feelings about it… and let others do the same however they need and want to.
I believe these statements to be true of America:
- America IS Land of the Brave
- America IS Home of Freedom
- America IS the place where Successes ride on the tails of opportunities taken
Is America perfect? No. Are Americans the best people? Not always. Like any country, anywhere in the world, we have our flaws and our strengths, our great people/great minds, and our evil people/dirty minds.
I’m not casting aspersions on any other country. You may live in another country, and hopefully YOU are proud to be a citizen THERE. I hope that where-ever you live, you are proud to be a part of that country and community.
I’m not a proud of every American, I am proud to BE American. I’m grateful that I was born in a country founded on autonomy and freedom. Where we can be who we choose, and let others do the same. Where differences of opinion are allowed, if not necessarily accepted. A country where individuals have the freedom to take opportunities, or not. No one must stay where they start, nor does the government tell you who you are or what you must be.
Don’t miss understand, I am not saying everyone here lives their best life here. My own life has had its share of personal tragedy and setbacks, but I have a good life. I am not a millionaire. I’m not a captain of industry.
Even now… during quarantine and having sustained a severe second degree burn a week ago today that is driving me crazy, I am happy.
I have a good life:
- I have a husband who loves and supports me
- I have a daughter I love, who has far greater goals than I could ever have imagined for her or myself- and nothing stopping her from achieving them!
- I have a home
- I have a working car
- I have plenty of food and clothes for my comfort
- I have a job that challenges me
- I have interests that I participate in
When I look at this list, I realize how grateful I am to be where I am. I’m not Rich or powerful. Then again, those were never my goals.
My life goals were to have a home, have a family, have a job where I help people. I have these things. Do I have everything I want? Heck, No. That’s what goals are for. To keep me striving, learning, growing!
In closing, this journal piece represents to me: opportunity, freedom, and bravery. The things I am always striving for❤️.
Earlier, I shared a post by ThinkMakeShare blog about making fun envelopes for letters with gift wrapping paper. Over the weekend I had some fun with it and thought I’d share the fruits of my labor!
As you can see, I made cards to fit. The envelopes fit a 4x5in card.
Quarantine is the perfect time to try your hand at that lost art: Letter Writing! And fun it would be if everyone sent even one letter a week! We could all experience the excitement of opening the post to something other than bills, political propaganda, and sales ❤️.
#letterwriting #possibilities #openandbrave
Photo: Alex Markovich. Sergiev Posad, Moscow Oblast, Russia. December 2015.The Golden Ring of Russia. Photo 1 — SCENOVELA
I absolutely LOVE everything about this photo. Looking at it makes me smile, not just my face, a Full Heart Smile. I’ve always found trees to be beautiful. Trees speak to me on a spiritual level: joy, sorrow, pain, laughter. It’s all mixed up inside of me. The bird in this picture makes me think of HOPE.
Right now, I am always looking for ways to keep hope alive. Hope for this quarantine to end. Hope for all those that are sick, heal. Hope for all the families and friends of loved ones survive the pain of loss. Hope that our love of humanity wins out over political and social differences that are tearing our country apart at the seams. Hope for a better tomorrow for my daughter and all the children growing up in this surreal atmosphere of isolation, fear, and blame.
This beautiful photo by Russian Photographer makes me realize that though our world is wide, it is also very small. We may be in different parts of the world, speak different languages, experience this pandemic in completely different ways…. but nature is always there. There are trees and birds and seasons and reasons to look for beauty in the everyday.
I’m not sure, but I probably mentioned in previous posts that I joined an art group in January. This has been an an amazing gift that I gave to myself: a weekly date to immerse myself in art and fellowship with a group of fellow artists.
Since the class started I have grown to deeply care for these women and the experience we share with each other. Our Tuesday morning meetings are SACRED SPACE. We come together, sharing concerns, joys, and ideas… and we make art.
When Social Distancing was put in place, I mourned the loss of this important weekly meeting of minds, hearts, and art. What would happen with these new-found connections, still in the infancy of development? Would all the ground I gained in art expression, self-connection, and community be lost?
Thank GOD! The answer was “NO!” Our ingenious leaders gathered their knowledge, ingenuity, and community spirit and reached out offering a weekly ZOOM virtual meeting! Thank you, thank you, thank you 1000x over!!!
Our first meeting we discussed many ideas and ways to commune with each other in this virtual world. Our decided Plan: we would each make an Art Journal to process our experience and share in art, work, and community via weekly Zoom meetings.
So for the first time EVER, I have committed to journaling through art expression multiple times a week, and during my weekly group meeting! Disclaimer: I have art journaled before. BUT… I never stuck with it for any extended period and my efforts were sporadic at best.
This. Is a commitment. During this time of quarantine, I contributing to my art journal in some way every day. Some days it’s prep: setting up a page(s), others it’s drawing, painting, stamping, or writing. Trying new techniques and ideas, exploring my emotions through art.
Some times it’s whimsical, others will be serious, some playful, some determined.
This is my self-care: My Art Journal. Tracking my Evolution through this time of quarantine and Social Distancing and delving into myself to discover hidden depths.
#lifeisart #livecreatively openandbrave
Cuddles and Snuggles ROCK!
Drawing, Painting, Doodling
Sunshine and breezes Cooling
Movies making laughter bubbles
Reading, lazing, joking
Meditating, working, journaling
Time for reflection
Time for change
Making plans for what’s ahead!
Friends can look forward to some fun mail from ME 😁.
This Blog has many fun ideas… I encourage art and craft lovers to check it out!