Personal Growth

The Ugly Truth

Working up the nerve and the faith to write about my life raw and unvarnished. Just facing the journaling process is intimidating.

Anyone out there with experience sharing their hard-won experience honestly and without color?

Please share your thoughts.

I’ll be posting as I make progress on my journey.

Food For Thought · Personal Growth

Riding the “Struggle Bus”

There are Days. Weeks. Months. Where the only thing keeping me going is my dark, sarcastic sense of humor… and :

  • Prayer
  • Meditation
  • Gratitude
  • My Family
  • Nature
Minions Humor

These keep me hanging on when I’m struggling hard with my twin monsters: Depression and Anxiety.

2020-2021 has been a B**** Of a year! The struggle to keep moving forward is DAILY.

I don’t know who else needs to hear this:

If you got out of bed today, you’re wining.

If you kept going despite your trials, you’re wining.

If all you did was move from bed to couch… good for you!

If you made a gratitude list and you felt it for even a few minutes 🎉.

If you reached out for help ⭐️⭐️⭐️

If you showered and got dressed, YEAH!!!

My LOVE and Prayer go out to everyone who is on the “Struggle Bus” with me and doing what they can to not give up the fight! ❤️

HUGS!❤️❤️❤️

Food For Thought · Personal Growth

LIFE IS MESSY: Do It Anyway

So… this past week my time-management skills and work-life balance were a little (a lot) off kilter.

I “glanced” at my Make Art Everyday book, everyday… but I was so brain tired and emotionally drained that I did NOTHING.

Saturday came and work had slowed some, I’d processed some emotional upheaval, and 15 had a BFF over. Suddenly, I found myself at loose ends with a wandering mind and restless hands. Voila!! Time for some ART PROMPTS.

So I didn’t make art everyday, but I still made ART!

Make Art Everyday:Week 6

Lesson for me (always): progress not perfection.

Did I follow My Plan perfectly? No.

Did I stumble and procrastinate? Yes.

Did I get it done? Yes.

Life is messy. Some days my “Best” is not so great. Some days my “Best” is Awesome! … and some days I just show up and make it to bedtime without creating a bigger mess.

Those really “messy” days are full of pain and “shoulds” and “I’ll never be good enough”…. and THOSE are the days I have to work really hard to love myself, so I can make it to my productive, awesome days.

This week had more messy days than usual, but I got in my Awesome on Saturday and made it up to myself with Art ❤️.

Personal Growth

He Reigns: Newsboys

youtube.com/watch

This song has been so uplifting.

If you haven’t already, watch “God’s Not Dead.” It’s a powerful movie, an amalgam of court cases between schools and faith organizations.

It speaks loudly of faith being a choice we all have in a free society, just as we have the choice to not have a faith. It speaks to the battle ground of today’s society’s fear of supporting people of faith.

The Newsboys music is featured and the movie ends at Newsboys concert.

You’ll recognize many famous faces in this movie.

I hope you find it as powerful, moving, and uplifting as I did.

Please share your thoughts!

Personal Growth

Healing is a Journey, Not a Destination

Who else feels like this will take a lifetime?

Honestly, I’ve healed from a lot, and I can share most of it without crying…

There are just some things that leave deep scars, and revisiting them will probably ALWAYS make me cry.

These are the events, traumas, experiences that no matter how many times they are triggered, there is a new layer of shit to process and heal from.

They say, “Time heals all wounds.”

I say, “Time gives me space to heal and scar.” Some wounds are so deep that they are a part of who you are.

For these “scars” I say, “learn from them and share your knowledge with others”

There is someone out in the world dealing with a trauma like yours, wondering if there is a light at the end of their tunnel, and they need your experience to help them navigate the healing process.

Food For Thought · Personal Growth

Responsibility IS Freedom

This is a harsh reality for some, but for me I find comfort in being Responsible.

As a person who grew up under severely dysfunctional and abusive circumstances, having the ability to be responsible for my life is a gift. It means I am no longer a victim of my life. I am the commander, with God as my compass, and I have the power to choose.

Quote by Hal Elrod, found on Pinterest

I can choose to change a situation by speaking up, or by removing myself.

I can choose to react or respond, or to walk away with no explanation.

I can choose where I focus my energy and what I deem important in my life.

Yes, choices are hard. Life is difficult. Bad things happen.

Still, I can choose to walk my path with God as my guide.

I can choose to ask others for help and support.

I can choose to share my life, and who I let stay in my life.

There is so much POWER to be had in being RESPONSIBLE.

Food For Thought · Personal Growth

Balance, Boundaries, and Peace of Mind

A BIG part of my Power Word for 2021: Balance, is learning to walk away from energy draining experiences.

Gotta be HONEST… this is HARD WORK for me! I’m an emotional person. I feel everything deeply. Discussions about Issues and values I hold dear to my heart are hard to walk away from.

I’m increasingly finding that people (especially on social media) want to drag me into arguments rather than honest discussion of differing opinions, ideologies, and values. These so-called “accepting people” would rather finger-point and yell and scream. This is a useless undertaking. These people aren’t interested in a discussion about the complexity of an issue. They simply want to “Take a Stand” and tell me how I am wrong or even a bad person if I disagree with their cause, ideology, or opinion.

This is a complete waste of time and energy. Yet the drama is VERY addicting.

I must work hard to resist the pull of these futile endeavors.

My mantra: “I am living my life in balance and with healthy boundaries.”

And… BREATHE!

Nothing in today’s world is going to be better if i sacrifice my peace of mind.

Life is hard enough without inviting someone else’s “Crazy” into my consciousness.

Food For Thought · Personal Growth

Making Time for Myself

It’s been a year since I’ve been able to take art classes at Briah Lucky Studio inNew Haven, CT.

I’ve really missed it and struggled to make time for art at home in the midst of working from home. SO… this was my therapist’s solution:

Make Art Every Day by Katie Vernon

I have recently found that I need strong structure to make time for myself and things that are important to me. Otherwise, WORK and Exhaustion take over my life 😖.

Week One
Personal Growth

Work in Progress

Today’s Wins:

  1. Got up early!
  2. Did stretches!
  3. Watched the sunrise
  4. Gratitude Journaling
  5. Had 16 oz water, cup of coffee, & ate breakfast
  6. Reached out to a friend with an honest and vulnerable heart
  7. Had a good cry
  8. Showered and dressed
    …. ALL BEFORE 8am! & start of work!

Also:

  • took time to have a phone conversation, I miss hearing my friends voices!
  • Set a timer for lunch break! … AND took a lunch break!

Yeah! Balance!

Personal Growth

2021: The Year of BALANCE

New Year, New Intentions…

BALANCE is a skill I will be working on and (possibly) perfecting?

Well, progress anyway. 😁

I am working on a few goals right now, small ones:

  1. Reading daily (learning new information)
  2. Regular bedtime: 9:30pm
  3. Regular wake up time: 6am (working toward 5am)
  4. Daily exercise: yoga and/or 30 min Walk
  5. Work structure: start, breaks, stop times

Also, being intentional with my time, my energy, and my friendships.

Do you have an intention for 2021?

If so, what are the steps you are taking to achieve it?