Category: Personal Growth
Silent but Still Here
Hey friends (and followers) lots going on in my life lately and NO TIME for social media or Blogging.
I’m still HERE. Growing, Learning, Working on self love and boundaries.
Been trading in social media time for writing letters to friends and family. Want to receive a handwritten note?
Drop me a line and send me your mailing address in messages or email.
Sending out love into the world!
Learning New Technology!
I just got a new laptop/tablet that has handwriting and drawing capabilities! It’s so exciting and so intimidating in the same breath.
The above is my first SAVED attempt at writing with my new pen. I love that it has an all-color (rainbow) affect. I’m still learning how to use the pen and control what’s on the screen. I’m also learning to use a smaller keyboard.
Do you enjoy learning new technology?
I used to love learining new software. Now, not so much. It seems as I get older, my learning curve seems to have slowed down. I still love learning new things but the tech is more challenge less fun.
This new laptop is a mix of both. the drawing aspect is is so fun! The new keyboard and new windows software less so.
I recently switched phones: iPhone to Samsung and I’m still learning the ropes! Thank God I have a teenager to help me. On this front she’s a true wonder.
Who helps you deal with new technology? Are you a tech whiz? Or like me, a former whiz turned struggler?
I Am a Recovering People Pleaser- Part 2
I can be imperfect and confident at the same time.I Am Affirmations App
As part of my “People Pleaser” recovery, my therapist has me reading: The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists by Eleanor D. Payson, M.S.W. I am only halfway through Chapter 2 and already my mind is blown. I learned to be a People Pleaser from the BEST: Narcissists. Now come on! I can’t be alone on this!
Now I really need to finish the book to get all the benefits. I can already tell you I feel less crazy about the need to distance from certain people and the amount of relief I have in trusting my “gut” instincts.
I am always a “Work in Progress” and at the same time – enough.Angelic Westfall affirmation 😉
For those of us who are empathetic, soft-hearted, optimists about people; Narcissists are the life-suckers who zap our energy without giving anything back. If you feel tired after every interaction with someone and they never show up when you’re in need, chances are strong you’re dealing with a narcissistic person (degrees of illness vary).
As I have started cleansing my life of the worst habitual offenders and understanding my own needs better, I have begun to be not only consistent, but CONFIDENT in my choices of action and decisions to stand by those actions – come what may. Just saying this out loud (or typing it) gives me a sense of Personal Power. “I can choose.” and not feel guilty later.
Tune in as I continue my journey, and please share your experience, that our shared support can help us all.
Recovering People Pleasers… UNITE!!
Trauma Recovery and Forgiveness Journey
I am currently walking through a trauma recovery journey (some wounds take mtiple trips, I’m afraid).
Part of this journey will include forgiveness; some for myself and quite a lot for a few others.
Forgiveness is a tough road. Be gentle with yourself if you know it is needed and yet you are still not ready to commit to it.
Give yourself permission for all stages of grief and/or anger. There is no way to the end result that does not take you through the personal hell that is the healing process.
That is where I am. Smack-dab in the middle of the “walking through hell” part. I know someday soon I will be faced with the time to let go and forgive. It is just not that day today.
Having been here before and survived; AND found forgiveness, I know the healing of it.
Forgiveness releases ME from all the bitterness that eats away at my happiness. I will walk in its sunshine again. Until then, I’m trusting the process and holding on to faith.
The Journeys We Walk Alone
What journeys have you taken alone?
Mine are always the internal, spiritual, intellectual journeys.
I am currently on such a journey: a trauma recovery journey. A journey I’ve walked many times. A lonely journey, if faith was not my companion.
Still, I can’t take my earthly companions with me. It’s a journey I walk with God, with my faith; believing in the currently unseen light at the end of the tunnel.
With faith we are never truly walking alone. It won’t be easy or quick, but this too shall pass.
The Eternal Struggle: Status Quo vs Change
How do you practice “silencing the mind”?
This has always been my challenge and my desire. When I am successful, amazing growth, understanding, acceptance happen.
Getting off that mouse wheel of Life is the struggle.
Then again, sometimes I’m so worried I won’t like the answer that I intentionally practice avoidance.
Like right now… I know job applications should be top of my list, but it’s scary putting myself “out there” and easy to laze in the “status quo.”
My boundaries have improved and I’ve been granted 2 days off instead of one. (It’s taken 2.5 years and a serious bout of burnout). Now, instead of moving toward the NEW I’m languishing in the FAMILIAR.
I see this quote in two parts: willingness to step outside my comfort zone AND willingness to be quiet with myself to hear the answer to the question, “What is my next step?”
Share your thoughts. Expertise. Experience.
The Lessons I Learned, AGAIN
Not gonna lie. 2021 really challenged my @fiveminutejournal attentiveness.
For the first time in three years I was not very good at doing my daily gratitude. I found myself trapped in a depression I couldn’t “Gratitude” Practice my way out of and everything I was in the pattern of doing for over 2 years came to a screeching halt.
I know what it’s like to feel stuck in a dark, unrelenting place. I was so burnt out from work, world noise, and the everyday negativity that seemed to permeate everyone and everything around me that I couldn’t see a way out…not even a way through. I got stuck in the “quicksand” of my hopeless thinking and all my positive practices slipped away.
- First to go: yoga.
- Then art/creativity.
- Months later by my Daily Gratitude Practice.
- Last was my daily water consumption (I always hit 64-80oz).
I finally admitted in October that I had hit bottom.
Here I have to say my therapist kept me from totally drowning. Weekly sessions, working on tiny “No’s” was truly my first step.
I had lost all sense of boundaries. I was an empty shell trying to still get through increasing stress at work, failing to be there as the mother, wife, and friend that I so love being. All because I had stopped “filling my cup.”
Peeps, I cannot stress enough the importance of caring for yourself FIRST.
I continue to learn this lesson the “Hard Way.”
Please, if you take away anything from my experience, let it be this:
- Acts of SELF-CARE
Keep these ALWAYS.
Then GROWTH is possible. And growth is necessary to our human experience. Growth keeps us moving forward. Keeps our minds elasticity and our body strong.
I pray that I never give up my desire and joy in learning new thing: skills, lessons, practices.
May 2022 bring you back to yourself, if you were lost; bring you positive energy, if you are feeling stuck; love, if you are feeling alone.
Life Lessons 2021
Work in Progress…
These are HARD! All the lessons I’ve been learning in 2021 are around self-care and healthy boundaries.
Glad to know I’m not alone ❤️.
WHAT WILL 2022 BRING?