Anyone else struggling with this Adulting business?
I feel like this way too often!
Where to start?
There are Days. Weeks. Months. Where the only thing keeping me going is my dark, sarcastic sense of humor… and :
- My Family
These keep me hanging on when I’m struggling hard with my twin monsters: Depression and Anxiety.
2020-2021 has been a B**** Of a year! The struggle to keep moving forward is DAILY.
I don’t know who else needs to hear this:
If you got out of bed today, you’re wining.
If you kept going despite your trials, you’re wining.
If all you did was move from bed to couch… good for you!
If you made a gratitude list and you felt it for even a few minutes 🎉.
If you reached out for help ⭐️⭐️⭐️
If you showered and got dressed, YEAH!!!
My LOVE and Prayer go out to everyone who is on the “Struggle Bus” with me and doing what they can to not give up the fight! ❤️
So… this past week my time-management skills and work-life balance were a little (a lot) off kilter.
I “glanced” at my Make Art Everyday book, everyday… but I was so brain tired and emotionally drained that I did NOTHING.
Saturday came and work had slowed some, I’d processed some emotional upheaval, and 15 had a BFF over. Suddenly, I found myself at loose ends with a wandering mind and restless hands. Voila!! Time for some ART PROMPTS.
So I didn’t make art everyday, but I still made ART!
Lesson for me (always): progress not perfection.
Did I follow My Plan perfectly? No.
Did I stumble and procrastinate? Yes.
Did I get it done? Yes.
Life is messy. Some days my “Best” is not so great. Some days my “Best” is Awesome! … and some days I just show up and make it to bedtime without creating a bigger mess.
Those really “messy” days are full of pain and “shoulds” and “I’ll never be good enough”…. and THOSE are the days I have to work really hard to love myself, so I can make it to my productive, awesome days.
This week had more messy days than usual, but I got in my Awesome on Saturday and made it up to myself with Art ❤️.
Who else feels like this will take a lifetime?
Honestly, I’ve healed from a lot, and I can share most of it without crying…
There are just some things that leave deep scars, and revisiting them will probably ALWAYS make me cry.
These are the events, traumas, experiences that no matter how many times they are triggered, there is a new layer of shit to process and heal from.
They say, “Time heals all wounds.”
I say, “Time gives me space to heal and scar.” Some wounds are so deep that they are a part of who you are.
For these “scars” I say, “learn from them and share your knowledge with others”
There is someone out in the world dealing with a trauma like yours, wondering if there is a light at the end of their tunnel, and they need your experience to help them navigate the healing process.
This. This is my “Thank God it’s Friday” face… even though I work Saturdays.
I miss weekends when I got together with friends (plural) for dinner, or coffee, or a movie.
I miss having a social life!
Laughing with friends (or commiserating) lightens our load… and let’s face it, no matter WHO you are the load has been heavy since this time last year.
I’m ready for a return to life of gathering with friends.
Easter is coming and I’m ready to join in the annual tradition of gathering with my friend’s family for food and fun.
Spring is coming… I’m ready for picnics, beach parties, and kids laughter.
I’m ready to not be afraid because I have allergies and my runny nose, sneezing and coughing are going to scare EVERYONE into thinking I have The Plague.
I’m ready to give up the mask! To not feel like I’m constantly choking on my own air to make others feel safe.
I’m ready for CHANGE! Back to the normal I’m used to, not this insanity we are currently living in.
- Got up early!
- Did stretches!
- Watched the sunrise
- Gratitude Journaling
- Had 16 oz water, cup of coffee, & ate breakfast
- Reached out to a friend with an honest and vulnerable heart
- Had a good cry
- Showered and dressed
…. ALL BEFORE 8am! & start of work!
- took time to have a phone conversation, I miss hearing my friends voices!
- Set a timer for lunch break! … AND took a lunch break!
WOW! So on-target with what I’m working on right now.
If you need help with ding love and kindness for yourself and others, this article lays out the perfect way to start!
— Read on empress2inspire.blog/2020/12/26/practising-loving-kindness/
If ever there was a day I needed this… it’s today!
Who am I kidding???
Since March, this has been EVERY DAY. I think I may need a tattoo on my arm… or on my palm. Somewhere I can 👀 it EVERYDAY and remind myself to CHILL THE F*** OUT.
Life happens. I can’t control it. I can only control how I RESPOND to it. I admit, honestly: some days not so good.
Still, if I’m fair to myself, there are more days I do well at it than days I let life take me down.
Progress. I’m working toward progress… until I can get to that imagined point where the storm of life rages around me, and I am the calm.
I know it’s been AGES since I’ve Blogged. Apologies to the few faithful followers.
I think we can all agree 2020 has been a challenge.
A shout out to those who are taking the 2020 challenge as an opportunity to embrace their inner strength and forge ahead! For myself, I vacillate between”forge ahead!” and “hide my head in the sand!” (Or under a blanket…
However you are making it through: feeling successful, stuck, or just hanging on… props for NOT GIVING UP.