PLEASE! Tell me I’m not the only person who struggles with this conundrum!
What do you do when you want attention?
What if you don’t want to ASK for attention?
We want attention. We want certain kinds of attention. We want others to know what we want without having to ASK.
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, deals with this issue from the marriage/relationship aspect. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. Discovering your “love language” can be a HUGE boost to your relationship. More importantly, knowing your partner’s love language could completely transform the way you communicate with each other.
With friendships, I find this “need” for reciprocal attention, time, or interest much harder to figure out. A lot of MY problems in this area can be attributed to my “people-pleasing” tendencies. This bad habit has blurred the lines and been ineffective in developing reciprocal relationships with others.
So…I reach out to YOU, dear readers, for your experience, expertise, and resources.
HOW do you get your needs met with friendships?
How do you determine: when to stay or walk away?
What traits tell you THIS will be a friendship worth investing in?
I’m looking for honest experience and honest answers, especially if you’ve overcome a “People-Pleaser” personality issue.
So… this past week my time-management skills and work-life balance were a little (a lot) off kilter.
I “glanced” at my Make Art Everyday book, everyday… but I was so brain tired and emotionally drained that I did NOTHING.
Saturday came and work had slowed some, I’d processed some emotional upheaval, and 15 had a BFF over. Suddenly, I found myself at loose ends with a wandering mind and restless hands. Voila!! Time for some ART PROMPTS.
So I didn’t make art everyday, but I still made ART!
Lesson for me (always): progress not perfection.
Did I follow My Plan perfectly? No.
Did I stumble and procrastinate? Yes.
Did I get it done? Yes.
Life is messy. Some days my “Best” is not so great. Some days my “Best” is Awesome! … and some days I just show up and make it to bedtime without creating a bigger mess.
Those really “messy” days are full of pain and “shoulds” and “I’ll never be good enough”…. and THOSE are the days I have to work really hard to love myself, so I can make it to my productive, awesome days.
This week had more messy days than usual, but I got in my Awesome on Saturday and made it up to myself with Art ❤️.
A few things that bring me joy and gratitude this morning: Christmas Tree at Sunrise.Vanilla Carmel coffee.Morning breathing exercise. Three new ornaments for my tree, made with love by my sister @judnickhalley, and the Russian Tea Cake Cookies sent by mom (all arrived in a box of thoughtful gifts last night).
I won’t lie. I’ve been on the “Struggle Bus” since mid-October. I’m not discounting moments of joy and peace. I hold them close to my heart to keep me moving forward.
This has been a very tough year.
My husband’s work is in shutdown (unemployment) for the second time this year. 15 is struggling to keep up with school, participate in clubs, and (sigh) learning to drive. All with social distancing that means only video chats with friends.
My job in Home Health Care has been extremely stressful due to COVID regulations and trying to get 60+ Caregivers on-board with weekly testing (semi-successful) and wearing PPE (slightly more successful). Then add in those who get sick (COVID or just the common cold, stomach bug), those that have small children and are struggling with childcare, school-age children stuck in home learning (because God-forbid ALL towns run on the same plan or schedule), and just everyday catastrophe: car accidents, a slip & fall, a health concern that takes a bad turn… you get the picture.
Then there are our vulnerable clients, constantly worried whether having the help they need is going to cause their demise! It’s not a small concern, for most of our clients, their contact with the outside world comes in the form of our non-medical home caregivers, nurses,and physical therapists. Any number of persons or companies they rely on for their quality of life.
This is STRESSFUL.
I want to do better at LETTING GO of things I can’t control. I am having a hard time with this concept, which feels like it’s in direct conflict with the seriousness of my job.
If you have a stressful job and have been successful at doing your daily best and letting the rest go,I desperately need to HEAR from YOU!!!