So… this past week my time-management skills and work-life balance were a little (a lot) off kilter.
I “glanced” at my Make Art Everyday book, everyday… but I was so brain tired and emotionally drained that I did NOTHING.
Saturday came and work had slowed some, I’d processed some emotional upheaval, and 15 had a BFF over. Suddenly, I found myself at loose ends with a wandering mind and restless hands. Voila!! Time for some ART PROMPTS.
So I didn’t make art everyday, but I still made ART!
Lesson for me (always): progress not perfection.
Did I follow My Plan perfectly? No.
Did I stumble and procrastinate? Yes.
Did I get it done? Yes.
Life is messy. Some days my “Best” is not so great. Some days my “Best” is Awesome! … and some days I just show up and make it to bedtime without creating a bigger mess.
Those really “messy” days are full of pain and “shoulds” and “I’ll never be good enough”…. and THOSE are the days I have to work really hard to love myself, so I can make it to my productive, awesome days.
This week had more messy days than usual, but I got in my Awesome on Saturday and made it up to myself with Art ❤️.
This is a harsh reality for some, but for me I find comfort in being Responsible.
As a person who grew up under severely dysfunctional and abusive circumstances, having the ability to be responsible for my life is a gift. It means I am no longer a victim of my life. I am the commander, with God as my compass, and I have the power to choose.
I can choose to change a situation by speaking up, or by removing myself.
I can choose to react or respond, or to walk away with no explanation.
I can choose where I focus my energy and what I deem important in my life.
Yes, choices are hard. Life is difficult. Bad things happen.
Still, I can choose to walk my path with God as my guide.
I can choose to ask others for help and support.
I can choose to share my life, and who I let stay in my life.
There is so much POWER to be had in being RESPONSIBLE.
A few things that bring me joy and gratitude this morning: Christmas Tree at Sunrise.Vanilla Carmel coffee.Morning breathing exercise. Three new ornaments for my tree, made with love by my sister @judnickhalley, and the Russian Tea Cake Cookies sent by mom (all arrived in a box of thoughtful gifts last night).
I won’t lie. I’ve been on the “Struggle Bus” since mid-October. I’m not discounting moments of joy and peace. I hold them close to my heart to keep me moving forward.
This has been a very tough year.
My husband’s work is in shutdown (unemployment) for the second time this year. 15 is struggling to keep up with school, participate in clubs, and (sigh) learning to drive. All with social distancing that means only video chats with friends.
My job in Home Health Care has been extremely stressful due to COVID regulations and trying to get 60+ Caregivers on-board with weekly testing (semi-successful) and wearing PPE (slightly more successful). Then add in those who get sick (COVID or just the common cold, stomach bug), those that have small children and are struggling with childcare, school-age children stuck in home learning (because God-forbid ALL towns run on the same plan or schedule), and just everyday catastrophe: car accidents, a slip & fall, a health concern that takes a bad turn… you get the picture.
Then there are our vulnerable clients, constantly worried whether having the help they need is going to cause their demise! It’s not a small concern, for most of our clients, their contact with the outside world comes in the form of our non-medical home caregivers, nurses,and physical therapists. Any number of persons or companies they rely on for their quality of life.
This is STRESSFUL.
I want to do better at LETTING GO of things I can’t control. I am having a hard time with this concept, which feels like it’s in direct conflict with the seriousness of my job.
If you have a stressful job and have been successful at doing your daily best and letting the rest go,I desperately need to HEAR from YOU!!!