Food For Thought · Personal Growth

Riding the “Struggle Bus”

There are Days. Weeks. Months. Where the only thing keeping me going is my dark, sarcastic sense of humor… and :

  • Prayer
  • Meditation
  • Gratitude
  • My Family
  • Nature
Minions Humor

These keep me hanging on when I’m struggling hard with my twin monsters: Depression and Anxiety.

2020-2021 has been a B**** Of a year! The struggle to keep moving forward is DAILY.

I don’t know who else needs to hear this:

If you got out of bed today, you’re wining.

If you kept going despite your trials, you’re wining.

If all you did was move from bed to couch… good for you!

If you made a gratitude list and you felt it for even a few minutes 🎉.

If you reached out for help ⭐️⭐️⭐️

If you showered and got dressed, YEAH!!!

My LOVE and Prayer go out to everyone who is on the “Struggle Bus” with me and doing what they can to not give up the fight! ❤️

HUGS!❤️❤️❤️

Food For Thought · Personal Growth

LIFE IS MESSY: Do It Anyway

So… this past week my time-management skills and work-life balance were a little (a lot) off kilter.

I “glanced” at my Make Art Everyday book, everyday… but I was so brain tired and emotionally drained that I did NOTHING.

Saturday came and work had slowed some, I’d processed some emotional upheaval, and 15 had a BFF over. Suddenly, I found myself at loose ends with a wandering mind and restless hands. Voila!! Time for some ART PROMPTS.

So I didn’t make art everyday, but I still made ART!

Make Art Everyday:Week 6

Lesson for me (always): progress not perfection.

Did I follow My Plan perfectly? No.

Did I stumble and procrastinate? Yes.

Did I get it done? Yes.

Life is messy. Some days my “Best” is not so great. Some days my “Best” is Awesome! … and some days I just show up and make it to bedtime without creating a bigger mess.

Those really “messy” days are full of pain and “shoulds” and “I’ll never be good enough”…. and THOSE are the days I have to work really hard to love myself, so I can make it to my productive, awesome days.

This week had more messy days than usual, but I got in my Awesome on Saturday and made it up to myself with Art ❤️.

Personal Growth

Healing is a Journey, Not a Destination

Who else feels like this will take a lifetime?

Honestly, I’ve healed from a lot, and I can share most of it without crying…

There are just some things that leave deep scars, and revisiting them will probably ALWAYS make me cry.

These are the events, traumas, experiences that no matter how many times they are triggered, there is a new layer of shit to process and heal from.

They say, “Time heals all wounds.”

I say, “Time gives me space to heal and scar.” Some wounds are so deep that they are a part of who you are.

For these “scars” I say, “learn from them and share your knowledge with others”

There is someone out in the world dealing with a trauma like yours, wondering if there is a light at the end of their tunnel, and they need your experience to help them navigate the healing process.

Food For Thought

Running in Circles

So much of the past year (March 2020-March 2021), and even periods of my life before, have felt like illustration #1: I’m running in circles loosing my mind and sense of perspective.

Reality IS illustration #2: I may be running in circles, but I am NOT in the same place.

Each lap teaches me something new.

Each lap forces me to TRY a new approach.

Each lap I get a little bit stronger: mentally, physically, or spiritually.

If you feel like you’ve been running in circles this is for you:
Yes! you may,in-fact, BE running in circles. Running in circles doesn’t always mean your staying in the same place.

Food For Thought · Personal Growth

Responsibility IS Freedom

This is a harsh reality for some, but for me I find comfort in being Responsible.

As a person who grew up under severely dysfunctional and abusive circumstances, having the ability to be responsible for my life is a gift. It means I am no longer a victim of my life. I am the commander, with God as my compass, and I have the power to choose.

Quote by Hal Elrod, found on Pinterest

I can choose to change a situation by speaking up, or by removing myself.

I can choose to react or respond, or to walk away with no explanation.

I can choose where I focus my energy and what I deem important in my life.

Yes, choices are hard. Life is difficult. Bad things happen.

Still, I can choose to walk my path with God as my guide.

I can choose to ask others for help and support.

I can choose to share my life, and who I let stay in my life.

There is so much POWER to be had in being RESPONSIBLE.

Food For Thought · Personal Growth

Making Time for Myself

It’s been a year since I’ve been able to take art classes at Briah Lucky Studio inNew Haven, CT.

I’ve really missed it and struggled to make time for art at home in the midst of working from home. SO… this was my therapist’s solution:

Make Art Every Day by Katie Vernon

I have recently found that I need strong structure to make time for myself and things that are important to me. Otherwise, WORK and Exhaustion take over my life 😖.

Week One
Personal Growth

Work in Progress

Today’s Wins:

  1. Got up early!
  2. Did stretches!
  3. Watched the sunrise
  4. Gratitude Journaling
  5. Had 16 oz water, cup of coffee, & ate breakfast
  6. Reached out to a friend with an honest and vulnerable heart
  7. Had a good cry
  8. Showered and dressed
    …. ALL BEFORE 8am! & start of work!

Also:

  • took time to have a phone conversation, I miss hearing my friends voices!
  • Set a timer for lunch break! … AND took a lunch break!

Yeah! Balance!

Personal Growth

2021: The Year of BALANCE

New Year, New Intentions…

BALANCE is a skill I will be working on and (possibly) perfecting?

Well, progress anyway. 😁

I am working on a few goals right now, small ones:

  1. Reading daily (learning new information)
  2. Regular bedtime: 9:30pm
  3. Regular wake up time: 6am (working toward 5am)
  4. Daily exercise: yoga and/or 30 min Walk
  5. Work structure: start, breaks, stop times

Also, being intentional with my time, my energy, and my friendships.

Do you have an intention for 2021?

If so, what are the steps you are taking to achieve it?

Personal Growth

Learning to Let Go… or NOT, in My Case

Christmas 2020

A few things that bring me joy and gratitude this morning: Christmas Tree at Sunrise. Vanilla Carmel coffee. Morning breathing exercise. Three new ornaments for my tree, made with love by my sister @judnickhalley, and the Russian Tea Cake Cookies sent by mom (all arrived in a box of thoughtful gifts last night).

Handmade Felt Ornaments
(family tradition)

I won’t lie. I’ve been on the “Struggle Bus” since mid-October. I’m not discounting moments of joy and peace. I hold them close to my heart to keep me moving forward.

Warm Gifts from family

This has been a very tough year.

My husband’s work is in shutdown (unemployment) for the second time this year. 15 is struggling to keep up with school, participate in clubs, and (sigh) learning to drive. All with social distancing that means only video chats with friends.

My job in Home Health Care has been extremely stressful due to COVID regulations and trying to get 60+ Caregivers on-board with weekly testing (semi-successful) and wearing PPE (slightly more successful). Then add in those who get sick (COVID or just the common cold, stomach bug), those that have small children and are struggling with childcare, school-age children stuck in home learning (because God-forbid ALL towns run on the same plan or schedule), and just everyday catastrophe: car accidents, a slip & fall, a health concern that takes a bad turn… you get the picture.

Then there are our vulnerable clients, constantly worried whether having the help they need is going to cause their demise! It’s not a small concern, for most of our clients, their contact with the outside world comes in the form of our non-medical home caregivers, nurses,and physical therapists. Any number of persons or companies they rely on for their quality of life.

This is STRESSFUL.

I want to do better at LETTING GO of things I can’t control. I am having a hard time with this concept, which feels like it’s in direct conflict with the seriousness of my job.

If you have a stressful job and have been successful at doing your daily best and letting the rest go, I desperately need to HEAR from YOU!!!

Food For Thought · Personal Growth

Following My Own Path

@pinterest is great for inspiration! Love this.

I can never be reminded too often to keep being my own person in-spite of all the noise around me.

Sticking to my own path, making up my own mind, standing strong on my values and beliefs is key to being the woman, wife, mother, friend, and contributor in the world that is meaningful to me.

Where do you find your inspiration?