Personal Growth

I Am a Recovering People Pleaser- Part 2

I can be imperfect and confident at the same time.

I Am Affirmations App

As part of my “People Pleaser” recovery, my therapist has me reading: The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists by Eleanor D. Payson, M.S.W. I am only halfway through Chapter 2 and already my mind is blown. I learned to be a People Pleaser from the BEST: Narcissists. Now come on! I can’t be alone on this!

Now I really need to finish the book to get all the benefits. I can already tell you I feel less crazy about the need to distance from certain people and the amount of relief I have in trusting my “gut” instincts.

I am always a “Work in Progress” and at the same time – enough.

Angelic Westfall affirmation 😉

For those of us who are empathetic, soft-hearted, optimists about people; Narcissists are the life-suckers who zap our energy without giving anything back. If you feel tired after every interaction with someone and they never show up when you’re in need, chances are strong you’re dealing with a narcissistic person (degrees of illness vary).

As I have started cleansing my life of the worst habitual offenders and understanding my own needs better, I have begun to be not only consistent, but CONFIDENT in my choices of action and decisions to stand by those actions – come what may. Just saying this out loud (or typing it) gives me a sense of Personal Power. “I can choose.” and not feel guilty later.

Tune in as I continue my journey, and please share your experience, that our shared support can help us all.

Recovering People Pleasers… UNITE!!

Personal Growth

Trauma Recovery and Forgiveness Journey

I am currently walking through a trauma recovery journey (some wounds take mtiple trips, I’m afraid).

Part of this journey will include forgiveness; some for myself and quite a lot for a few others.

Forgiveness is a tough road. Be gentle with yourself if you know it is needed and yet you are still not ready to commit to it.

Give yourself permission for all stages of grief and/or anger. There is no way to the end result that does not take you through the personal hell that is the healing process.

That is where I am. Smack-dab in the middle of the “walking through hell” part. I know someday soon I will be faced with the time to let go and forgive. It is just not that day today.

Having been here before and survived; AND found forgiveness, I know the healing of it.

Forgiveness releases ME from all the bitterness that eats away at my happiness. I will walk in its sunshine again. Until then, I’m trusting the process and holding on to faith.

Food For Thought · Personal Growth

The Lessons I Learned, AGAIN

Five Minute Journal App

Not gonna lie. 2021 really challenged my @fiveminutejournal attentiveness.

For the first time in three years I was not very good at doing my daily gratitude. I found myself trapped in a depression I couldn’t “Gratitude” Practice my way out of and everything I was in the pattern of doing for over 2 years came to a screeching halt.

I know what it’s like to feel stuck in a dark, unrelenting place. I was so burnt out from work, world noise, and the everyday negativity that seemed to permeate everyone and everything around me that I couldn’t see a way out…not even a way through. I got stuck in the “quicksand” of my hopeless thinking and all my positive practices slipped away.

  • First to go: yoga.
  • Then art/creativity.
  • Months later by my Daily Gratitude Practice.
  • Last was my daily water consumption (I always hit 64-80oz).

I finally admitted in October that I had hit bottom.

Here I have to say my therapist kept me from totally drowning. Weekly sessions, working on tiny “No’s” was truly my first step.

I had lost all sense of boundaries. I was an empty shell trying to still get through increasing stress at work, failing to be there as the mother, wife, and friend that I so love being. All because I had stopped “filling my cup.”

Peeps, I cannot stress enough the importance of caring for yourself FIRST.

I continue to learn this lesson the “Hard Way.”

Please, if you take away anything from my experience, let it be this:

  • BOUNDARIES
  • Acts of SELF-CARE
  • GRATITUDE

Keep these ALWAYS.

Then GROWTH is possible. And growth is necessary to our human experience. Growth keeps us moving forward. Keeps our minds elasticity and our body strong.

I pray that I never give up my desire and joy in learning new thing: skills, lessons, practices.

May 2022 bring you back to yourself, if you were lost; bring you positive energy, if you are feeling stuck; love, if you are feeling alone.

Blessings❤️

Personal Growth

Life Lessons 2021

Instagram @anxiety_wellbeing

Work in Progress…

These are HARD! All the lessons I’ve been learning in 2021 are around self-care and healthy boundaries.

Glad to know I’m not alone ❤️.

WHAT WILL 2022 BRING?

Random Thoughts

Holiday Fun

Not sure where everyone is with the holidays this year, but I’ve been struggling.

Two Fun Day were: December 3, The Annual Lamplight Stroll in Milford, CT with a great friend. This same friend brought the Holiday Spirit to my house today (December19).

God Bless good friends. They invite you to fun things and their excitement is so infectious, it rubs off and you get out of your way despite yourself!

I was so not in the mood to socialize… but I made myself go. The Lamplight Stroll night was so fun!

Shops were open late, the Town Green was lit up like a magical wonderland, with vendors hocking homemade wares. There were Carolers and sleigh rides (we did not partake). We were FREEZING! And we were LAUGHING!

We stopped in at a local restaurant for appetizers and dessert. We talked for hours. I stayed out WAAAY past my usual bedtime 😉. It was the most fun I’ve had with a friend in over a year.


Today’s fun: Gingerbread cookies, tea, a fire, painting rocks (painting!), Christmas music and hot cocoa.

My friend has been painting rocks for several years. Her rocks (pictures below) are spectacular! She is so talented with the tiny details!

My Friend’s Rock Painting Masterpieces

So this is probably only the second time I’ve tried painting rocks. I decided to let go of expectations and just have fun with it.. no comparing myself to my friend and her superior skills. Just FUN!

My results are below. I’m pretty proud of my efforts.

My painted Materpeices

Most important, we were RELAXED. We had FUN, we LAUGHED. We SANG along to Christmas songs. We sipped Hot Cocoa by the fire and gushed compliments on 16 for her cocoa-making skills.

Christmas time at home

I feel happy and relaxed. That’s not something I’ve felt often of late. I want to wallow in it. Roll around and cover myself with this happy, content feeling and ride it straight through the New Year!

Best wishes to all 🥰

Personal Growth

The Old That Is Strong Does Not Wither

I’ve felt very low of late, and not at all inspired to share.

Then THIS. A beautiful Sunday afternoon at the beach with my loving partner, Don; and the cold, brilliant blue sky. A beautiful walk and time spent in meditation on the beach. Even a RAINBOW (not pictured).

Photo by Angelic Westfall, Cozy Beach

And today THIS. A quote from J. R. R. Tolkien found on Pinterest.

We all know that first line: “All that glitters is not gold.” Personally, I’d never heard the whole quote or knew it came from R. R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings series.

Today I am feeling inspired.

For the first time in quite a long while, I FEEL the sunshine.

I am emerging from the darkness and coming into the LIGHT.

Love and Light to all who are struggling. May you see the Light at the end of your tunnel ❤️.

Food For Thought · Personal Growth

I Am A Recovering People Pleaser

Barry M Sherbal

I’m doing it! One step at a time. Sometimes I falter. Sometimes I backslide. Sometimes I’m completely successful and walk away… knowing I will be ok.

This lesson of “I am Enough” is a hard one to learn when I’ve spent a lifetime pleasing others to gain acceptance and love.

Today, I do have unconditional love in my life from the people most important to me.

STILL, I haven’t completely put to rest those voices of my childhood that told me through repeated actions, inactions, verbal and nonverbal cues that I had to earn love, earn attention, earn worthiness.

If anyone feels this way now or has struggled with it in the past, my heart goes out to YOU.

YOU are Enough!

YOU are worthy of the life you want.

You are worthy of the love you want.

You are worthy of the career you want.

Whatever you can dream, you are enough for it!

We are always a “Work in Progress” and at the same time ENOUGH.

We are Enough to meet that challenge that scares us.

We are Enough to take that opportunity we secretly tell ourselves we don’t deserve.

We are Enough to be loved flaws and all.

We are Enough to walk away from relationships and situations that no longer serve us well.

As I type this, I say these things to myself: A reminder that I AM ENOUGH!

YOU ARE TOO ❤️

Food For Thought · Personal Growth

Taking A Much Needed “Time Out”

I’m in Athens, Georgia for 2 weeks to help family. I love them and I’m happy to have a job that allows me to work from anywhere so I can be here to help when they need it.

Those who are in the Healthcare profession or are caregivers for loved ones know what this means. It’s an act of love, done gratefully and (hopefully) gracefully. It is also emotionally, mentally, and physically draining.

This is a reminder that it’s time to take a BREAK, or as I call it a “Time Out.”

I’ve been here a week and today I needed that “time out.” Luckily, the weather has started to turn for Autumn and the temperature/humidity has let up and cooled. So today, my time is being spent outside.

The Georgia Botanical Gardens has always been a favorite place for me, when I lived here and now when I visit.

Botanical Garden Beauty
Water Feature at Visitor Center Entrance

As I sit by this beautiful water feature at the entrance to The Visitor Center, I feel my stress, sadness, anxiety and exhaustion melt away…

I hope you take a “Time Out” if you need it. Remember: you’re no good to anyone if you’re not good to yourself ❤️

Blessings.

Food For Thought · Personal Growth

Fall Down… Get. Back. Up!

Pinterest

Fall down, Get back up!!… even if you need to rest first.

That’s ok.❤️

Life is hard. What makes it a blessing is what you do with your experience!

Use your challenge as opportunities to learn and share your experience!

Food For Thought

I Am The Cage AND The Key

Suntan via Pinterest

How many times do we feel stuck?

I know I feel that way often… especially in this never-ending alternate reality we seem to be living in since February 2020.

Are there things we cannot change and control? YES!

Do they outnumber or outweigh the things we CAN control? 🤔 I say, NO!!

It’s easy to forget how truly powerful the individual is while being bombarded with so much “noise” from the media, social or otherwise.

Where does Personal Power exist?

  • Our CHOICES: How do I choose to perceive, feel, react to what is happening to me and around me? What Action will it take (or not take)?
  • Our ATTITUDE: Do I see this event, incident, interaction as positive or negative? An opportunity or a stumbling block? A Chance to grow and learn or a Victimization?
  • Our ability to seek/ask for HELP: where do you go for assistance and support? Are those supportive, positive people/places? Are those angry, wallowing people places?

The above 3 Personal Power “Keys” are only effective if they are Empowering you to open the Cage. Otherwise, they ARE your Cage.

Your thoughts?