I am currently walking through a trauma recovery journey (some wounds take mtiple trips, I’m afraid).
Part of this journey will include forgiveness; some for myself and quite a lot for a few others.
Forgiveness is a tough road. Be gentle with yourself if you know it is needed and yet you are still not ready to commit to it.
Give yourself permission for all stages of grief and/or anger. There is no way to the end result that does not take you through the personal hell that is the healing process.
That is where I am. Smack-dab in the middle of the “walking through hell” part. I know someday soon I will be faced with the time to let go and forgive. It is just not that day today.
Having been here before and survived; AND found forgiveness, I know the healing of it.
Forgiveness releases ME from all the bitterness that eats away at my happiness. I will walk in its sunshine again. Until then, I’m trusting the process and holding on to faith.
This has always been my challenge and my desire. When I am successful, amazing growth, understanding, acceptance happen.
Getting off that mouse wheel of Life is the struggle.
Then again, sometimes I’m so worried I won’t like the answer that I intentionally practice avoidance.
Like right now… I know job applications should be top of my list, but it’s scary putting myself “out there” and easy to laze in the “status quo.”
My boundaries have improved and I’ve been granted 2 days off instead of one. (It’s taken 2.5 years and a serious bout of burnout). Now, instead of moving toward the NEW I’m languishing in the FAMILIAR.
I see this quote in two parts: willingness to step outside my comfort zone AND willingness to be quiet with myself to hear the answer to the question, “What is my next step?”
For me, this is my “Unicorn”. In today’s world people SAY they are open minded and all inclusive, but what they mean is: THINK LIKE ME.
THINK LIKE “ME” Is impossible. Unless you are a computer. A computer only has the information YOU add. The WORLD doesn’t work this way.
Every person comes with their own unique personality traits, which shape and are shaped by their personal life experience and the perspective of the culture and place in which they live. This puts us each in our own way of perceiving the world and the information we take in. And… Holy Moly!! There is a lot to take in! All the time, everywhere!
Add in our culture, place of origin, family upbringing, social setting, and personal life experience… and you have an individual who could be working, living beside you with different outlook on life and every little piece in it. None of this makes them, their thought, belief’s, understanding of incoming information “Wrong” if it is different from yours.
I find it’s a rare person who can listen without judgement. It’s rare to find anyone I can have an open honest discussion about…anything, agree or disagree, and still respect each other as unique and beautiful people we are.
I feel blessed to have met 2 people (one being my husband) who I can share any thought or feeling, thought out or still in development process, without fear of judgment.
We may not agree, but we always respect each other’s thought process, life experience, and learned knowledge that has brought us to the discussion “table” as valid and honest.
Have you been fortunate to have a family member, spouse, partner or friend who has let you be yourself in all aspects of your “being”?
“What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other’s folly – that is the first law of nature.” ― Voltaire
The TRUTH is… at 3-years-old (2008), little Miss was Hell On Wheels. She tested EVERYTHING. The day this picture was taken, we had a 4-hour Showdown over cleaning up a mess.
There have been many moments I thought “I can’t do this, be the Mom she needs.” At 16-years-old (2021),I still sometimes feel the same way.
Still, it’s been an beautiful journey. I’m so proud to be THIS GIRL’S mom.
We guarded her childhood like we were on a MISSION. That Mission: for her to be a child for as long as possible.
2020 kinda blew that out of the water. Being bombarded with so much stuff and all of us “hanging on” for dear life. It seems like this almost 2 years have gone in Fast-Slow-Motion.
All of the sudden she’s 16, a Junior in High School, and one foot out the door to “Real Life.”
We’re now talking College and careers and all sorts of grownup things. She’ll be 17 soon, then I’ll BLINK and she’ll be 18 and heading off into The World.
GAHHH! Some days I really do want to go back to 3. It’s sounds crazy even as I say it… because 3 was HAIR-RAISING! But the challenges were smaller.
Today I worry:
Did I teach her enough?
Is she going to be ready for the things life throws her way?
Am I going to be ready to give her up to… LIFE?
As much as “people” like to wax poetic about “Enjoy Every Moment” parenthood is a non-stop Rollercoaster Ride: sometimes exhilarating, often terrifying, full of laughter and tears, a ride that ends at 18.
Of course, you NEVER stop being a parent, but the job is very different. You’re on the sidelines not in the event.
As someone who’s childhood was not protected, who “grew up” WAY too young, I am glad that my daughter has had the childhood I couldn’t have: carefree, play dates and imagination run amok.
I love the young woman she’s becoming and the evolution of our relationship. I also love reminiscing about play-do and dress up, glitter everywhere and slime, the excitement of “Firsts.”
Such simple instructions. I go even more pared down:
Stay in your own lane.
Pinterest
Why does human nature find it so hard to follow?
It seems on an individual level, less difficult; but add up to a group, society, or community…now it’s different. The almighty “WE” wants in your business and WE want to tell you what to do, what to think, how to do it and how to think.
Take a step back. It’s great to “Think Globally” but we must ACT individually.
ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS
Do you really understand what that statement means? It means:
People won’t change because you tell them to or YELL at them to.
People are change by how they see you behave.
Act responsibly in your own life.
Others will follow.
The caveat to this: Another’s responsibility is not the same as yours. It won’t look the same, think the same, act the same as yours.
Be ok with that. Stay in your own lane. Be the person who understands and takes to heart “Personal Responsibility” and you WILL make a difference. The kind of difference that changes the WORLD.
One of my most difficult life lessons has been accepting that it’s ok that not all people like me. I don’t like everyone either!
More important than that lesson is that it is ok to disagree AND still like and respect another person or not 😉.
More often than not, something that bothers me in someone else, is a BIGGER version of a failing I see in myself.
Let’s all try to spend some time thinking about this:
Difference of opinion and experience is what makes us each unique. We can learn from each other, disagree with each other, even not like each other… and STILL Be respectful.
Being polite does not have to be connect or equivalent to liking or agreeing with another person.
If you haven’t already, watch “God’s Not Dead.” It’s a powerful movie, an amalgam of court cases between schools and faith organizations.
It speaks loudly of faith being a choice we all have in a free society, just as we have the choice to not have a faith. It speaks to the battle ground of today’s society’s fear of supporting people of faith.
The Newsboys music is featured and the movie ends at Newsboys concert.
You’ll recognize many famous faces in this movie.
I hope you find it as powerful, moving, and uplifting as I did.
Empowerment.Vitality.Evolution. 