Sometimes life is overwhelming. I’ve been feeling it for the past month. Which is my… explanation 😉 for not Blogging for a month.
I’m not sure I’m back, but I have taken time for self-care, evaluation, and reflection. The conclusion:
I need to schedule more “Me” time on a regular basis.
Art feeds my soul, so do more art
Routine is EVERYTHING, and I suck at it #workinprogress
Sometimes it’s ok to take breathing room from your goals to reevaluate
I love my life, I just need more order (see #3)
For now, I’m going to leave this here: pictures from the park I took a walk in this morning, art I created a few weeks ago, my snuggle pup Ginny, and a picture of me working through one of those tough “I wanna run away” days.
“In order to truly appreciate the gift of life, we must be able to withstand the darkness of life.”
Dr. Perry shares some wonderful insights on how the pain we experience in life makes us deeper, stronger people.
As someone who has struggled with this and gone through the healing process (many times), I can honestly say that I may not be grateful for the pain, but I am grateful for the lesson.
A lot of New stuff in my life lately… and this makes my head (often a dangerous neighborhood) become a beehive of activity. First, the New Job… which so far is AMAZING. Second, setting up a home office. Third, learning new stuff…lots of stuff. Fourth, trying to keep this Blog thing going. Fifth, trying to use Instagram (learning curve HERE is steep).
#1 New Thing: Job
Amazing, Awesome, Exciting! I love this company and what they do. I love the people I’ve met and work with. The flexibility is great, my daughter was sick this week and I was able to be there. The flexibility is also a challenge: stay on task and try to workout a schedule. Learning new software, easier than I expected (so far). So SO SO much information to take in! Trainings, Webinars, Manuals… That feeling of: I don’t know where to start. I mean I need to know it ALL, RIGHT? Which goes first? Which bit of information is THE information? See where I start spinning my wheels?
#2 New Thing: Home Office
So, the job provided a phone, computer, and printer (YAY!!). Plus there will be materials for recruiting. This meant turning our Guest Room into Home Office. It felt a bit daunting. We have kept so much in there… even post The Purge.
Putting together my new desk ended up a Family Affair… mostly, my husband and daughter, while I looked on. I really wanted to do more of the work myself. I did need my husbands help (heavy lifting), but my daughter was not to be left out. In the end, my daughter and husband put the desk together and I sat idly by. That’s ok! It’s a little thing, and it meant SO much to her to do this “building with Daddy” thing. Now, I’ve got all sorts of thoughts buzzing around my crazy brain of what will make it look awesome… and no more money to spend for a while. Plus, I’ll be honest, I’m not totally sure what else I need (besides a cool, comfy chair).
#3 New Thing: Learning, Learning, Learning
So much LEARNING…. Where do I start? OMG! So much learning lately! I made a goal to learn about Grant Writing. It only took me 3 weeks to figure out the reason I couldn’t open the module was because of a pop-up blocker on my computer! YIKES!
New work cell phone and not realizing that the Apple ID would over-write all my work information and contacts… CHECK. Plus, the new iPhone… I know you tech lovers won’t understand this, but my brain is not equipped (yet) to handle 2 cell phones, let alone 2 cell phones that operate completely differently! GEEZ. Add in all kinds of information related to the new job.🤯
Then of course there’s this Blog thing… I’m gonna be totally honest: Putting myself out THERE (the internet world), is terrifying to me.
What do I say?What will matter to people?Who will want to listen (read)? ….And TOPICS! GEEZ! That’s not at ALL overwhelming! Or a freaking SCHEDULE!
I really have felt like I took on too much lately, but I want to challenge myself. This is how I do it: Doing this writing thing Outside my comfort zone (WAY outside).
It’s ALL GOOD: I’m LEARNING – LMAO.
#4 New Thing: Blogging
Okay, So the last thing… This Blog. I signed up for tips and lessons through WordPress. Which came in the form of daily emails with tasks. Which I have NOT kept up with. Full disclosure: I feel like there are not enough hours in the day for my brain to think all these things, do all these things, come up with something to SAY… (Not that I ever run out of words) but with a buzzing brain, getting any sort of clarity has been a huge challenge. All I have had since my last post is….. static. Brain on overload. Gibberish.
So of course, I think OMG! I can’t do it! What was I thinking? I can’t write a meaningful Blog every week! And If I’m supposed to do more than once a week… #@*&#@$%*.
Next thought: I’m a failure and I’ve barely started. No one wants to read about my crazy!
Have you ever been on THAT hamster wheel? The one that takes you down a dark hole, but you can’t seem to jump off? Yeah. I went there.
DEEP BREATH…. WHEEEEW…. I’m back now. Sanity has re-entered the building. I took a brain-break yesterday. Sorely needed. Vegged like broccoli in front of the TV and doodled. This helped A LOT. I got to do something creative, which ALWAYS makes me feel better, and I caught up (re-watched) a ton of old episodes of Veronica Mars. I admit it. I’m a huge fan. I’m SO excited for the re-boot this week!! SQUEEE!
My Zentangle doodle
#5 New Thing: Instagram
Let’s talk Instagram. Everyone said if I wanted a following for my Facebook Page and Group, I needed: 1) Website (Blog). Check. 2) Instagram. Check. Except NOBODY tells you that Instagram works completely different from Facebook, and figuring out how to use it is making my mind want to shut down.
I’m no quitter. I searched and watched “How To” videos and even a Webinar (twice!), just like I did when I started this website. I think my circuits are overloaded. TOO much information in too short a timespan makes my brain want to take a vacation. Again, this lady ain’t no quitter! I shall persevere!
That covers my week.
How was yourweek?I’d be interested to know what others do to shut off their crazy-brain thinking.
Great Read. As a person who struggles with procrastination, I can say: Every reason listed has been a reason for my procrastination at one time or another.
Additionally, as a parent, I see how setting a good example and avoiding some of the scars that cause procrastination might be something to seriously think AND ACT ON.
Here is where I am: I am embracing the challenge of a finding new career.
I’ve been a Stay-at-home mom searching and educating myself back into the
workforce.
I never expected to face such a challenge. The challenge of finding myself
after 5 years at home with my daughter. The challenge of a changing economy and
having that time-gap in my work history. The challenge of not giving up: Not
just for me, not just for my family, but for my daughter.
I want her to be strong, and brave, and confident. All the things I have been struggling with these past 9 years…. NINE Years. Trying to find my place in the world. My purpose, outside of being a mom, a wife, a friend, a daughter…
I’ve had a lot of “bumps” in the road and challenges I’ve overcome, just to be where I am today. I’ve conquered personal demons, I’ve recovered from personal trauma, I’ve moved many times and had many jobs. I struggled with infertility to have my precious daughter, now a teenager.
Yet for 9 years I have been unable to find that path, the place where I fit, and a job that I can keep. I never thought I’d be HERE. I’ve always worked… since I was 17 years old, and I never once doubted my ability get a job.
I’ve done so many things over the past 12 years: I finished an AS in Psychology, I’ve worked as a substitute in schools, temped at all kinds of offices, and recently I returned to school for a new certification and completed the program.
So now, back to putting myself out there: Applying for jobs, hoping for an interview, and trying to help keep my family afloat and BE STRONG. Show my teenage girl that it’s never okay to quit… even when everything inside me says give up. That’s where I am today. #openandbrave